Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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