You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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