and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
