We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize