Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize