The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
