These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
