Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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