dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Randomize
