i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
