Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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