Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
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