belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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