drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
