Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
