Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
