I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Are we still banned from the library?
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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