operation have a gay friend backfired
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
