he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Randomize
