My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
