The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
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