WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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