she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Let's get the cat blown out
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
