Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
