The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
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