If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
