Where is the hickey?
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Randomize
