I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
