is this the sara with the beer cane?
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Someone shattered a urinal.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
