better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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