Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
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