Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Is it penis luge time yet?
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Randomize
