Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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