Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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