they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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