Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
My legs feel like baby dolphins
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
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