So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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