eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize