You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Randomize
