I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
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