people are starting to question the shark bite story
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
i believe in u and ur pee
the raccoons are back...
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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