Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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