Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Randomize
