he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
