Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I don't think brook has ever known best
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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