Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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