There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
