Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
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