Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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