you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
