i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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