It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
