so that wasnt chicken after all
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize