I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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