I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
