sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Randomize
