Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
