If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
