butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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