At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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