remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
