The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
cat food counts as protein by the way
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
