The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
