I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
