Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
